Dear Elena,

Sitting at the bar on Pacific Avenue. With the seashells in the walls. Same bartender from last year, still here, making the same lethal Mai Tais. He asked about you. It’s been raining all day. I remember when we got caught in the storm and took shelter in this fucking bar. Drinking Mai Tais and playing songs on the jukebox. The jukebox is gone now.

Chris

Dear Elena,

Went to the lighthouse today. The photo out front shows the old keeper and his wife standing there, looking proud. They had five children but one of them drowned. You remember that summer we climbed the lighthouse stairs to the top, and you laughed at me when I admitted I was afraid of heights? That was cruel. Yet nothing ever scared you.

Chris

Dear Elena,

I had coffee and pancakes at the little cafe near the pier. I had them top the pancakes with bananas and whip cream like you always did. I walked to the end of the pier and sat down on the bench where you told me. I didn’t cry that day, or any day after that. But I cried today. Everyone’s talking about a big storm rolling in, that the waves will swallow anyone crazy enough to venture out into the water.

Chris

Dear Elena,

I’m sitting on the patio of the beach house. No, I didn’t walk into the ocean. But damn, the rain is coming down hard. I can’t stop thinking about the hospital, the storm outside your room. The storm inside me. It’s been a year. People say time heals all wounds. Not mine. Mine continues to fester. Only a year. Maybe it’s the wind, maybe it’s the whiskey. I swear I can hear you calling out for me.

Chris

Dear Elena,

Power’s out. I’m writing by candlelight. Would be romantic, if you were here. I can see ghosts in the shadows, but none are you. The photo on the front of this postcard shows giant waves from a monster storm in Baja decades ago. The waves are just as big tonight. There is a local legend about a portal to the underworld that opens up in the ocean during storms. One just needs to swim out into the wave touched by lightning. Maybe I just made that up. I will see you again soon. My love.

Chris